1- Steer clear of comparing yourself to others. Get in the habit of paying attention to your own successes, performances, and feelings rather than those of other people. That means you don’t need to get upset when others succeed or judge yourself by their standards. Make a conscious effort to worry about yourself and not them. It’ll get easier to time and practice!

• When a co-worker gets promoted, instead of telling yourself you’re not as good as them, try replacing those thoughts with something more positive, like, “I worked hard, and if I get some advice from my new manager, I can be even better.”
• Celebrate your own achievements! Recognize your victories, even the little ones, and write about them in your journal.
• Reflect on why you self-compare and when you usually do it. Find the pattern in your thought processes, and make a list of things that cause you to self-compare so you can avoid those triggers.

2- Write in a journal to stay in touch with yourself. Journaling is a great way to express your feelings without fearing judgment. Spend a little time each day writing about your thoughts, fears, hopes, and goals. You can do this in the morning to clear your head or as a way to wind down in the evening. Try keeping your journal with you so that you can write whenever the mood strikes.

• Use the journal to reflect on your experiences; try to do a weekly summary of all the things you’ve learned.
• Journaling can also be a helpful tool to examine your fears and insecurities and figure out exactly what might be holding you back.

3- Practice gratitude and try to appreciate yourself. You probably let your friends and family know you’re grateful for them, so try doing the same for yourself. Make it a point to find something about yourself to appreciate each day. Start by either saying these things out loud or writing yourself little “thank-you” notes.

• You might tell yourself, “Today, I’m grateful that I was able to be patient when I was stuck in traffic. I’ve been working at not getting so upset, and I’m proud of myself.”
• If you’re already keeping a journal, use it to keep track of the things you’re grateful for. You could write, “I’m really thankful for my health. I work hard to eat healthy, and I’m glad to see the benefits.”

4- Write a list of steps to help you improve your life. To build a relationship with yourself, check in to see if your life is heading in the right direction. Create a list of things you want to achieve or experiences you’d like to have in your life—like a sort of bucket list. If there are things in your life that make you unhappy, consider how to change them.

• For example, you might feel lonely and want more friends, so come up with a list of ways to make that happen.
• That list might include taking a class in something you enjoy or joining a recreational sports team, for example.
• Making a bucket list can actually be a helpful exercise because it gets you thinking about things that excite and inspire you while giving you something to look forward to.

5- Set specific goals so they’re easier to keep track of. It's great to have big, ambitious goals, but make sure to break them down into smaller objectives that are specific and manageable. This will not only help you to stay on track, but you'll be able to easily measure your progress. That way, you'll know exactly when you can celebrate crushing an important milestone!

• For example, instead of having a big, vague goal like “Find a new job,” you might break that down into smaller goals like “Polish my resume by October 1” and “Apply for at least 3 jobs daily.”

6- Get support when you need it. It’s not always easy to focus on yourself, especially when life throws extra challenges your way. During tough times, consider talking to a trusted friend if you need help—or, for professional advice, talk to a therapist or counselor. They can help you figure out how to focus on yourself better moving forward.