Scholars said: In the small family state, the fear of family members is divided into two parts: some of them fear sin, and others fear the father. When the fear of sin is present, false and flimsy fears disappear, and here is the correct cradle for upbringing. The flowers of the sense of responsibility bloom in the souls of children one after the other, and the young ones get used to righteousness from the beginning. The members of this family are reassured that if they do not transgress the rights of others and are not tainted by sin and deviation, nothing will happen to them, but they will be completely close to the parents.
In such circumstances, the father in the family environment has both personality and affection, and the children fear his correct and fair punishment, so they do not commit sins or deviate.
((The one who carries out the punishment must believe in some rules and listen to the call of conscience, and not rule out of fanaticism. At the same time, he must be benign in his behavior and compassionate, not showing his weakness and baseness, but rather having general compassion and humanity that appears within the limits of limited laws that are subject to social and international respect)).
((The educator will pretend that he will not punish, but rather that he is implementing the laws of justice as a competent employee who is forced to do so, and the child will understand this joke well. Since the reprimand has a completely emotional aspect here, it must not go beyond the limits of humanity, and thus such a punishment is unbiased.
As for fear of the father: When the fear is of the father, the father who is ill-mannered and cruel, the father who makes excuses and is stubborn, the father who speaks obscenely and beats his children without reason, so he punishes the simplest mistakes with the greatest punishments, the father who takes revenge for his external efforts and takes revenge on his innocent children, and who solves the knot of his commercial, administrative or social failure by harming them... In the family ruled by such a father, honesty and integrity are not respected, and virtue and morals are not known, but what is important in the eyes of the children is to please their tyrannical father, and to avoid his evil!
The modern era is mistaken from a scientific and educational standpoint, in the way of beating and harming children for the purpose of discipline, and beating is almost prohibited in all living countries, so parents are warned Mothers at home and teachers at school are definitely among those who beat children. Some may imagine that this theory is an innovation in our present age, and that attention to the importance of this subject was only drawn to in the hadith. However, we see it necessary to remove this illusion from the minds of those people and say frankly: Islam preceded them in this... In addition to the narrations prohibiting beating children, Muslim jurists in the past centuries issued fatwas prohibiting this in their practical letters that are considered the daily methods of Muslims' work)).
Some of them said: I complained to Abu al-Hasan (peace be upon him) about a son of mine, and he said: Do not beat him and ignore him... and do not prolong the ignorement)).
In this hadith, we find that the Imam explicitly prohibits beating the child, benefiting from emotional punishment instead of physical punishment. The father is the only refuge for the child and the center of his hopes, and his abandonment of the child is the greatest spiritual and moral punishment. He (peace be upon him) asks the father to abandon the child, but he quickly advises him not to extend the period of abandonment, because if the father’s abandonment has a deep impact on the child’s soul, then its long duration leads to the destruction of his spirit. If the impact of this abandonment is weak, then the father’s personality will diminish in the eyes of the child due to the long period of abandonment, and the father’s pain will have no effect at all. ((Punishments in which emotional and moral means are preferred over material means have a great impact. In such punishments, instead of depriving the child of material things, one must strive to influence his heart, soul, conscience, pride, and vanity. If material deprivations are not linked to his feelings and emotions, then they lose the character of punishment)).
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