Tips for improving your style selection process

11:15:12

2025-03-13

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Make it easy for the other person to act according to their style.

Although a person's style is evident in most situations, it is most evident when you show interest in the person and encourage them to lead the conversation. If your style-driven behavior appears too strong and the other person senses this, they may primarily respond to your communication style rather than act in ways that their style dictates.

Pay attention to body language.

One of the most important indicators of style is non-verbal language. Yet, there is a strong tendency among people in our society to overlook body language indicators. Train yourself to pay more attention to other people's gestures, body posture, facial expressions, voice speed and pitch, and the range of vocal tones. This doesn't mean neglecting verbal indicators; rather, it means increasing our focus on non-verbal indicators.

Don't be fooled by style names.

Names are convenient in themselves, but they can easily lead to misunderstandings. For example, when you use the word "practical," others may picture a bully wielding a whip—even though some of the world's greatest humanitarians identify with this style. Another common mistake in identifying a style is believing someone is practical when they are actually expressive. This is because the word "expressive" doesn't convey the high level of assertiveness that characterizes this style. The word "practical" does convey this. Some people believe that people with high assertiveness are practical, while 50% of those are expressive. Therefore, be careful not to let the names lead you astray.

Treat your initial assessment as a basic assumption that can be further developed through application.

Don't allow your initial perception of others' styles to become an unchangeable rule. Always gather information about the person's level of assertiveness and responsiveness. Review your theory based on specific indicators of the style you believe the person to be, and then test your theory in practice. Do this by adapting your style to what you believe the other person's style is. If this adaptation makes it easier for the person to work with you, your assessment was likely accurate. If it doesn't improve the relationship, you may have misdiagnosed the person's style. Keep observing and experimenting, and you'll undoubtedly discover what you can do to make this person easier to work with.

Identifying Style Is the Beginning

We're always amazed at how useful the concept of people's styles is in helping us better understand others and improve our communication, selling, and working with them. If you can accurately identify another person's style, it will provide you with an amazing amount of information about the person. At the same time, style is only linked to certain aspects of life. A person's personality is not limited to their style; it goes far beyond that. Therefore, identifying a person's style is just the beginning of getting to know them.

Identifying is just one step in a journey of research and appreciation, which can be long and arduous.