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The Eleven-Year-Old Child: Selfish, Arrogant and Exhausting to Those Around Them
1:41:37 2026-07-04 33

The ages of eleven and twelve represent the final stage between childhood and adolescence. This period is often referred to as a stage of transition because children undergo noticeable changes in their behavior, attitudes, thinking, and reasoning. It is followed by a period of greater emotional and psychological balance.

After the relative calm of the tenth year, the age of eleven brings a whirlwind that signals the approach of adolescence. Children at this age may become untidy, and their sense of humor often changes. They are still emotionally immature, yet they possess a strong sense of fairness. They may appear selfish, arrogant, polite, quiet, and well-mannered outside the home, while turning everyday situations into dramatic events. They can be exhausting for those around them, constantly arguing with family members without seeming to tire of it. They want to do everything quickly, criticize others repeatedly, and frequently interrupt people while they are speaking.

Regarding the relationship between an eleven-year-old and their parents, children at this age tend to oppose almost everything. They may criticize their mothers constantly, speak disrespectfully to them, and rarely offer help. Their admiration for their fathers often decreases, although girls generally maintain a better relationship with their fathers than boys do. They also tend to criticize their younger siblings relentlessly, refuse to submit to them, and are usually more drawn to older children. Their behavior is often highly contradictory. If parents find these behaviors difficult to accept, they should remember that their child is experiencing significant physical and psychological changes that accompany a new stage of development.

Twelve Years Old: The Age of Balance

By the age of twelve, children have a much better understanding of themselves. Support from both school and home, together with the continued maturation of their nervous system, helps them regain emotional calm more quickly. Their level of activity also becomes relatively balanced.

Children at this age begin to develop a clearer sense of identity and strongly dislike being treated as little children, even though some of their behavior may still seem childish. Girls of this age, in particular, often enjoy discussing personal matters with one another. Relationships with their mothers generally improve, and they become more willing to accept their help and care. Their relationships with siblings also become more positive. As for friendships, although they may have one especially close friend, twelve-year-olds usually return to forming and enjoying the company of a wider circle of friends.

 

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